Delusions used to make me think about thoughts, meds situation, awaiting results, my diet
Old Post: Dec 2025
I tried making a song for pedophiles to give up that way of thinking. It tackles porn addiction and gray areas in the lyrics; I can’t publish it until I know where it stands with some listeners. But one day, when I release all explicit tracks, I may release it. Or I could rework it into a cleaner new song. Maybe make it so you need to give up philia instead of the original; some people think I need to take out “we” because I am not one of those. I just wanted to stop the abuse in my own life and not repeat the cycle. Being the kid who was molested makes me feel like the monster.
I may do TMS 5 days a week if I have to discontinue Ozempic, plus the Cobenfy, while I wait for results on my health. Because my health will go kablooey, quarter-pounders, Mickey D’s, and Wendy’s left and right. Meds just do that to your appetite. I prefer Cobenfy over Ozempic, but if my results are off, I have to give up both. Hoping the test comes back good.
But my stepdad thinks I need the meds, and I may even have to quit the Ozempic and gain all the weight back. I will be the Anat of Florida, except I’m not a billionaire, not rich, just well-to-do. Don’t own crypto.
May go to Japan with one of my brothers one day; maybe I end up living there to escape my parents, who knows. But I love Florida.
When I was a drug addict, certain drugs helped with the withdrawal and coming down off meth. Benzos like Xanax were prescribed by a doctor, and they would help me get off it. To go to sleep when you’ve been awake too long, I had the GHB, which some people use for more nefarious purposes. I only used it for sleep. And trazodone, I later found out, would put me to sleep even if I was awake on meth nonstop; that’s how powerful trazodone was.
Considering a medicine like Abilify if I end up having to give up the Ozempic and if Cobenfy doesn’t work because of health issues. We will see. It looks gloomy, but I need to hope for the best.
If I gain all my weight back to 250 pounds, I will grow out my hair as I did before and transition to other therapies to get off meds again if it becomes impossible to lose. TMS and other therapies.
I believe some people can live well with schizophrenia and bipolar off meds and do TMS.
I would be laughing a little. Anat and I, the Indian billionaire, will have more in common. I also want to say I like the therapist’s lifestyle in the show Billions, but that’s hard to discuss; kids probably read my work.
But I do plan on growing my hair back. Medium length or long. Medium is where I should keep it. The Ozempic made me balding a little, but I still grow hair rapidly. Or wear wigs when I become a woman one day, or keep it short depending on the mood.
Almost done with Mayor of Kingstown. Want to move on to gaming more, or another show; Land Man looks promising.
Why do I still use Android phones? They did make them more like iPhones with the code in the new update. But I have an iPhone as well; I just don’t use it. Have thought about having 2 iPhones. It would be good to do that. I just don’t like how hard it is to figure out how to turn down app volumes when the phone is silent. Android is more straightforward.
Why do some people hate evolution? It has been proven to be true. You can’t prove it’s insanity. Christianity and religion are insanity.
I like billionaires who commit their fortune to charities that save the world and try to end world hunger or bring clean water. It’s a little selfish for billionaires to hoard their wealth. If 10 or 20 of the richest people in the world did the pledge with Bill Gates, they could end a lot of starvation and problems. Say you gave 800 billion to their foundations; you have saved Africa, and you keep the 20 or 50 billion for your royal family. We need all billionaires to commit to that.
My diet so far is what it consists of:
Breakfast: fruits such as strawberries, mangoes, bananas, dates, blueberries, prunes. And more fruits
After that, scrambled eggs or sunny-side-up eggs, sometimes runny yolk or hard. Sea salt. With a sourdough brand of gluten-free bread, which is either the normal one or cinnamon-flavored with raisins, and ghee butter, goat butter, truffle, or original.
For lunch, I sometimes skip, but intermittent fasting is hard for me, so I tend to eat fish or chicken: wild-caught fish and antibiotic-free chicken. Bone-in with skin for thighs and drumsticks, sometimes a chicken breast. Fish of all kinds.
And for dinner it’s the fish or chicken, depending on which it was prepared for me.
And in some rare cases I’ll ask my mother for jasmine rice, the healthy organic kind, or I’ll order healthy sushi, or, in even rarer cases, dim sum from my Chinese spot, or an antibiotic-free burger with fries. But I must work out more if I do eat like that.
I avoid McDonald’s and that sort of unhealthy food. But I assure you I am going to be ordering too much Uber if I lose Ozempic; oh well, get me a quarter pounder and diabetes lol!
Maybe I should become a cop or do Homeland at the school that lets me in and deals with narcotics, but then again cops have a hard job, so I may not. May just stick to moving properties around; I mean, someone must take over my mother’s business. I could make bank one day.
A schizo effective on the ketogenic diet. I like her; she doesn’t take meds, and she eats super healthy, and she has been through psychosis. Living well with schizophrenia: my mom wants that for me, but TMS would be required, and my dad may be on the fence about it. It is a YouTube channel; I will link it. She is nice.
Some of the delusions I used to have:
Delusions used to make me think the world was flat.
Delusions used to make me think that hit men were a real thing (this one is tough because Homeland had Peter Quinn, and he was a hit man) (I mean hit men for the government, not just any nut.)
Delusions used to make me think that saying whatever you want is what mattered, no matter how unfiltered.
Delusions used to make me think that Bill Gates could be a CIA twin cop or something.
So many Delusions I have had. It’s good to be careful about how I post, so I don’t spread misinformation, and to do TMS or meds to curtail delusional thinking.
Besides the doxy PEP plan, I’m on HIV PEP injection if I go down that road. Safe sex is always best though.
I’m writing new songs; still, it is much harder with the limitations.
Tons of videos still have more, especially travel videos.
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