I was molested by an adult caregiver & Weed psychosis episode I had.

All post I bring back have been reviewed and are safe about my life etc.

That handsome fellow is me. Rate me to your friends.

I was molested by an adult caregiver I know a monster, but I let the anger of forgiving him get to me over time, I don’t communicate with them though. My old drug charge when I was an addict was hard to overcome but I beat the charges with Mark O’ Mara the famous attorney, he was my lawyer, he is the best criminal defense attorney in Orlando. He also told me I was looking at prison all the time, which scared me in a way, basically a place I could have sent my adult caregiver to, if I wanted to. The same destiny I was heading to at the time for drugs I was returning when I wanted to get sober and not do meth anymore.

Meth was a terrible addiction for me, it caused hallucinations and gave me different problems that I couldn’t cope with at the time, years ago. I have plenty of stories but not sure if I will get them all passed peer reviewed maybe save it for a book one day.

My adult caregiver always cooked delicious food, unhealthy food at that, but he also bought me Kanye West and Jay-Zs albums like the blueprint and graduation when they were just being released. And those songs comforted me, although they contained the word no white man should say no matter how gangster you are. As soon as they want to boo you on stage for saying the word it just ends badly. But I would listen to graduation and blueprint by Jay-Z when they were released. I remember listening to renegade with Eminem and Jay-Z and Graduation by Kanye West stronger.

I was probably 13 at the time or 12 or something like that according to AI.

I think I was molested maybe 5 to 10 times in my life not sure if by multiple, and I got lucky that I never caught HIV from them or anything like that serious. But I did show forgiveness to my adult caregiver, not sure if I should have done that. But in the end, it is your decision to convict your abuser, many do, surprisingly many forgive, maybe it depends on how often it happened throughout your youth is how I would measure it up. I still don’t talk to them; I kept them anonymous as well.

I wonder what became of my abuser’s life because he drank wine a lot and he was catholic. I became an atheist over time, the voice in me as Bill Gates convinces me its okay to be agnostic till you see how absurd Christianity can be at times, and I go back to atheist, but a spiritual atheist is not a bad thing either.

I take meds to stabilize my mood, but I have done Ozempic to lose weight because of the side effects of the medication.

I quit Medical Marijuana.

I also quit medical marijuana, because I had an incident where I attacked someone, and I am not proud of it. The person was just minding their business, and I was high off the medical weed, which is legal here where I live, and the THC must have been so strong that I thought I could get in his face and argue about nothing really. I tried to look back on it and tried to rationalize why, but then again, I couldn’t, it was psychosis.

I even met in rehab people who were having psychotic breaks of marijuana even though it is becoming legal. It is unfortunate I can’t believe people really damage their lungs like that for a plant that causes psychosis in like 30% of users or more, underlying issues of schizo effective happen to people who use it.

I would watch Eric Khan videos of him getting high, but I got tired of it after a while, I never got into dabbing which is where the extreme part of weed is, the addiction part. It is like a rush I bet when they inhale that vapor of super concentrated THC, but it could cause psychosis in many users. Maybe I should lead by example and not consume a plant like this, leave it to people who really need it. My excuse was anxiety, but it sometimes made me worse, I was addicted to the culture of it. It’s a good thing I never did dabbing which is the most addictive form of it.

I still love music that weed smokers make do not get me wrong, just not into the plant myself anymore. Trappin in paradise remixes are the best of some of my favorites and Wayne I love his stuff I even love his concerts, but I know better than to get psychosis again maybe I am secretly the favorite child for not smoking it.

I quit coffee also caffeine addiction is bad; it makes you look older and the studies on it are nonsense, it’s not as good for you as they say it is. In rehab a lady who was older showed her sister side by side in photos and the sister who drank coffee and caffeine her whole life looked significantly older.

Side note:

I still use WordPress and manually do it I don’t use AI to make the site. Not sure how it would work. Avada as well as the most popular plugin no AI on this site! Only if it all becomes obsolete then I would switch over.

My therapist is helping with the review of stuff she watered down a lot of what I said, I was surprised maybe I let out too much, so from now on reviewed but my explicit music do I just lose the 10s of thousands I spent with my mother on that? I am sad, I think in my opinion taking out the racial slur in rap is enough, but some people may want me to make more clean albums, I hope to one day bring back the old hits maybe separate them by clean and explicit music. I am working on new stuff copyright free though and better lyrics more peer reviewed before no peer review.

Working on new stuff can’t share previews can get stolen. Excited. New Lyrics to be reviewed.

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