My journey on meds, if I ever meet John Morgan one day, dreaming I am broke, music thoughts. Backup plans with college.

I won’t reveal my track list, yet I also have old YouTube videos post that I can bring back one by one in future if I wanted to once per week which have been reviewed by my therapist.

My therapist is back reviewing my work so I am happy a lot of the post you see from before were not reviewed I sent them to her to see if any need to be taken down I told her I got mad at a studio, they couldn’t even find me a vocalist lmao. I offered 100 with Hitt Squad, the vocalist does it for 100 they even do custom vocals for 100 I believe. So maybe don’t use the phat planet if you want vocalist, try and ask for a vocalist to see if they get you one. Phat planet lol just friendly jabs I like them they make good beats, but I was upset about no vocalist. Hittsquad got me the best high tier vocalist for 100 dollars more on the beat.

I will have a backup plan which is my community college for the paralegal degree if something goes wrong in the new college. I do look forward to going in person to the game design program now. I am learning to accept consequences. I’m not trying to get off meds I do the injection to lose weight and maintain weight, but I think my therapist could only get approval for me to be off meds if I weighed 300 pounds and couldn’t do the tirzepatide or Semaglutide injections.

I hate that I must be classified as this disorder I want to be like John Nash off meds one day, but I think it’s a fallacy for now. To many people think I’ll post something crazy or do something crazy.

I also pay more attention to petite or thin bodies it’s like a disease of mine. I have been with a few rare times bigger women, but I guess porn addiction has ruined me a little in the dating world. Big women deserve better than me anyways. They are beautiful but my excuse is why does John Morgan and Howard stern get to date thin women it upsets me a little.

I must see my baby mamas for their child support I pay once a week once I see more than the other, it’s just not helping my case. I also don’t care anymore about my job standing at the moment. I will look for a job or do music opportunity if it arises when school finishes or if they ever give me a surprise in my 40s with lawyers and some good news and will I be a billionaire I hope so I would share with bill and Melinda’s charity or Warren buffets charity those are my two favorites. But I also want to be greedy.

Push everyone away be like “no meds for me billions mwuahaha “then my kooky accountant tells me, “you get less if you don’t take your meds” and then I have to accept that. But if I do receive that at the end it’s still good but maybe if John Morgan sees I take meds my whole life and make good music maybe I get some extra money and I don’t want John Morgan’s wife to give all my money to charities lmao. He said in jubilee his wife loves to give money away. Lol

If I won money one day because of my life story.

So, for now, keep her away, John—haha.

I want 10 billion and I’ll give 7 billion to the people and 3 I keep for myself and my children who will be medicated and I’ll go unmedicated like John Nash or Eminem one day. If Eminem tells me he is off meds, I’ll get off meds.  But it is only a dream I am actually broke I only got 90k and I am spending it all on music and child support and I struggle I am not rich. People in my age group have more than me they tend to because they save it better.

I guess people who take meds their whole lives deserve more money in court in the end because we listen to our doctors but that could just be a fevered dream of mine, I dream of better days.

I need 10 wives hehe lol.

They will all want me to be married and be faithful to the group of friends in her friend group I wonder if I would even be allowed to have a fan woman on tour? Do I get a pass lol.